So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Randomize