fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
