Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
