they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My ass is underappreciated
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
