so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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