So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
