I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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