i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
my god I love twenty year old dicks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
