So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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