if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
