Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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