So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
