All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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