Got a toothbrush?
I heard we made out
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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