I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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