i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All I want is dick and wine.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
