And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
