we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
