Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
