In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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