Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
