Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
