Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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