It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Enjoy the penises
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
