you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
