No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
