There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
