In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
