We won't sleep together?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize