everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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