I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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