just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
