I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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