all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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