weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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