yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
