Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I sprained my soul last night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
