the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
