Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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