That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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