I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
