There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
