Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
