Porn is love you can see.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
