It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
