i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
