HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My first STD was from a foam party
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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