when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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