you turned your livingroom into a bong?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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