Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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