eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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