I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
