well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
