if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
