No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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