If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
