why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
