I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
