I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
