They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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