peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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